Jul 09
A common sight in Shanghai – a young man carry his girlfriend’s handbag for her as a display of his manliness. I’m not too sure about this so I’m turning to you the readers to help me decide, just so I know what to do next time I’m out with a young lady.
Update : I’ve closed the poll, thanks for voting. Out of 110 votes, 21 thought that the guy was a true gent for carry his girlfriend’s pink handbag, which is 19% of the votes.
Take a look at the photo above and decide:
- What the f*** were you thinking? (81%, 89 Votes)
- A true chivalrous gentleman who deserves to be applauded (19%, 21 Votes)
Total Voters: 110
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July 9th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
I used to date a girl from Hong Kong who liked me to hold her bags for her. I told her shopping bags was fine but not her actual handbag – I think you have to draw the line. If a girl wants me to hold her stuff all day thats fine, but it has to be in a bag that I am comfortable holding. You gotta meet us half way ladies! Otherwise we look ridiculous!!!!
July 9th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
it’s not a big bag
can’t the girl handle it?
July 9th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
This is a big deal in a lot of Asian countries, and is sometimes accompanied by wearing an identical outfit to the girlfriend (it’s pretty common in Korea, for example).
I…don’t really know what to think about it. I much prefer to carry my own things, but maybe I’m just too westernised. I still would never expect my boyfriend to carry my stuff, especially not my handbag. I’m definitely against the matching outfits.
Has anyone ever seen a small dog in one of these handbags?
July 9th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
PS: It’s ‘chivalry’. ^_^
July 9th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Wiseman – You’re missing the point. I think the girls go out of their way to find the most feminine looking bag and then get their guys to carry them around as a sort of humiliation which is a test of how committed they are. One girl told me as much!
Tasgaan – Apparently not, it’s too heavy for them to carry themselves. Either that or they lose face if they have to carry their own bag when every other girl isn’t.
Bananaundercover – Do NOT get me started on the matching outfits. In my mind, that is EVEN WORSE than carry handbags.
And I don’t think it’s chivilry I think it’s stupid. Oh, the spelling! I’ll correct that right away, well spotted.
July 9th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Love the shot… this topic never gets boring.
July 9th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
WoAi, I’m pretty sure you’re right about it being some kind of test. “If you love me, and you’re proud to be seen with me, you’ll carry this frilly pink handbag around”, etc. Again, I’m not that kind of girl, so I don’t really get it. I suppose for some girls, their boyfriend is just another accessory, so why not just let him hold a handbag, too?
July 9th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Bananaundercover: love your name its hilarious!!!!
Are we saying in Shanghai men are at the mercy of women? We are accessories?!
July 9th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
SHE in China – Well if I didn’t have the picture then perhaps it would be boring but yeah, it’s been discussed many times before but I thought it was worth reviving in the light of fresh evidence, LOL!
Bananaundercover – Firstly, glad to hear you are not in favour of it. And your “accessory” theory is spot on. You seem to understand the mentality perfectly!
July 9th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
I think most reasonable men have the same reaction – shopping okay, handbag when it’s snowing in hell.
July 9th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
bananaundercover: The only time matching T-shirts are good are when they carry a slogan that reads across both (i.e. half the message on each). If the couple are walking on the wrong side of each other, it sounds as if the message was written by Yoda.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
CP – “My lame boyfriend this is”.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
It changes after marriage. My wife won’t let me carry her handbag regardless how heavy. That way she won’t look like she married a pussy.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
@cp and Woai – “my balls? Where are”
July 9th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
what a douche
July 9th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
It also looks weird to me..
July 9th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
CP – Actually I have to disagree. The only time matching shirts is acceptable is if you’re playing in a football team!
Seraph – Thanks for your perspective.
Andreas – Careful, you’ll soon have Jen telling you to leave China if you don’t like carrying womens’ handbags!
Dedlam – Interesting, but for me that’s not a big enough reason to get married!
July 9th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Wiseman: Thanks!
WoAi: Describing accurately and understanding aren’t always the same thing.
I want to see picture evidence of girls dressing their boyfriends in complementary outfits, not just matching ones. Like this one, maybe? http://tinyurl.com/5c7mfy ^_^
All the t-shirt comments made me giggle. Yes, the world needs more hilarious couple t-shirts.
July 9th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
I don’t like that pink colour purse that the guy carries. I think it would look much better if he carries branded purse. Personally, I don’t really care if a guy wants to carry his girlfriend’s purse. I don’t care as long as it’s not my guy. Anyway, I don’t let my hubby carries my purse when we go out….I’m afraid he is going to lose my purse….hahaha. That’s why I carry small purse and empty most of stuffs if I don’t need them. I prefer to carry my own purse.
July 9th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
wont date a guy who does that. give me a real man!
July 10th, 2009 at 12:07 am
haha i voted for the underdog choice.
peter my friend, when we hang out you will want to wear my mulberry bag all the time
so stop complaining!!!
July 10th, 2009 at 12:41 am
On rare occasions I also see Asian dudes in NY guilty of committing the same deed. I’ll try to take a discreet snapshot next time i spot one lol.
July 10th, 2009 at 12:41 am
It’s the way the guy in the pic is carrying the bag, on his shoulder, that leads me to question his sexuality. I think if he carried it in his hand, like someone had just left it behind somewhere and he’d picked it up to return it, then maybe it wouldn’t look so stupid.
Mind you, I really don’t know what’s worse. Carrying a girls handbag or carrying a manbag. I kinda feel that a guy carrying a handbag that actually belongs to him, that’s full of his own stuff, be it hair gel, facial wipes or whatever it is he feels he needs to carry around, looks like a far bigger pansy than ‘guy’ carrying his gf’s bag. Confusing issue this.
July 10th, 2009 at 12:42 am
I have to agree…the size of the bag matters. That is a tiny pink bag… I mean if it’s a mega huge bag with everything in it… I would understand.
The question though is… why does it make us men feel self conscious?? If you are with your wife or girl you want to be with forever… it shouldn’t really matter right? You hold her hand don’t you??
July 10th, 2009 at 2:46 am
Woai, how do you feel about carrying clutches? They are way hotter than a purse bag!
That guy probably had his cell phone in her purse so he had to carry it for her. A real man should have their own merse at all times!!!
July 10th, 2009 at 5:31 am
Magnus – wearing her handbag is like wearing her panties mate. You’d look ridiculous.
Miss Jane – A man who never goes anywhere without a handbag is a man only by loose definition.
July 10th, 2009 at 7:53 am
It is funny that they have completely different cultural hang ups to us. My boss would not think twice about holding his wife’s pink purse, but would freak out at the idea of doing his own laundry.
July 10th, 2009 at 11:08 am
wisemanofasia I’m a fan of carrying my own stuff but if a man insists I would probably only let go of the shopping bags. Of course, it’s always the thought that counts so the fact that he offers is enough for me.
D and Rich–Totally agree. A man that carries a lady’s purse is W-H-I-P-P-E-D.
Woai–love your blog. Love Zhongguo.
July 10th, 2009 at 11:16 am
D – Real man is right here, come get me!
Miss Jane – Every man in China over 30 carries a clutch. Except me. My cell is always in my pocket. You can’t feel it vibrate if it’s in a bag.
Shopgirl – That sounds awesome, I can’t wait.
DaveNYC – A picture would be GREAT. I’ll put it up on the blog.
Magnus – I don’t hold hands in public either actually. I wouldn’t want to bump in to another hot girl and have her think I’m not available!
Rich – Exactly. He does seem just a little TOO comfortable with that bag on his shoulder.
Silk Knots (almost wrote Silk Nuts!) – Yeah that’s a good point about cultural hangups. Except all Shanghainese men do all the laundry for their princesses, oops, I mean wives.
July 10th, 2009 at 11:17 am
Ren – A million thanks. I agree it’s nice to be asked (if the bags are heavy) and I always offer when help is needed.
July 10th, 2009 at 11:56 am
WoAi – You’re forgetting the dishes, cooking, mopping of floors, polishing of cars, and all of the heavy lifting in sex.
July 10th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Whats wrong with men doing laundry? My husband does ours but he will NEVER hold my purse, not even for a min. (well ok, if there is no one around, he might hold it for a min).
July 10th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
T – When you’re right, you’re right. Apologies for the oversight.
Sue – Tim is indeed a fine example of a man.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
WoAi and T:
What’s wrong with the husband doing laundry, cooking, washing dishes, mopping the floor, etc. if both the husband and wife are working full time and have children? Help each other…that’s what marriage are for and also for longer lasting marriage. Which era do you think you are in now?
Have you ever thought why you guys are still single and unmarried? LOL…..
No point to have endless dates with playgirl and playboys…LOL. It’s waste of time and you are not proving anything by having useless dates and one night stands. We are not competing in school…LOL. Shame on you guys!!!!!!!!
July 10th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
SC – Endless dates and one night stands? I’ve only ever had one one night stand in my whole life. Usually I sleep with girls at least twice before moving on. But you’re right, I often wonder why I am single AND unmarried (as opposed to those people who are single and married!). It is very sad. I’ll be 50 in 9 years and will probably die alone.
July 10th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Lol @ SC – guess you dont ‘really’ know many guys huh
It’s a bit like cooking, I guess. I have a cousin who will always try a new recipe twice. The second time is to make sure the 1st wasn’t a fluke lol.
Which reminds me, I just finished watching Californication. Hilarious, thx for bringing it over, bruv
July 10th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
Rich – You’ve just reminded me, I gave you my copy so I am gonna have to buy the DVDs again so I can watch them all over again. Can you imagine Hank Moody doing laundry or mopping the floor? I think the closest he got was doing the maid while she was supposed to me doing the laundry, LOL!
July 11th, 2009 at 12:34 am
Lol or carrying a handbag on his shoulder
When’s season 3 coming out? Have a word with the boys at Movie World will ya.
July 11th, 2009 at 6:55 am
Okay way too many comments to read. The only reason I should think a guy would carry a woman’s bag/purse is the final goal…
To get some (i.e. sex) from the picture it seems like he is already thinking about it.
July 11th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Dude looks like he could use all the help he can get…
July 11th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
I think the ony time it’s acceptable for a man to hold a woman’s handbag is during a mugging.
July 11th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Rich: Just a reminder that you have a daughter. You as her father doesn’t want her to meet or marry a guy like WoAi or someone like your cousin in the future….LOL.
Unless she is just like one of the guys….LOL.
WoAi: It’s because of a guy like you that there is a divorce rate….no wonder you are still unmarried because you cannot keep your woman! LOL. It’s beter you remain single…you have made the right decision by remaining a bachelor….you make your parents’ proud…..LOL. I don’t have any respects for guys like you!!! It’s nothing to be boast!!!!!
July 11th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Jin – I’ve done lots of things to get sex but holding a handbag wasn’t one of them!
Dingle – Congratulations you win the prize for best response to this post.
Oli – I think a hair cut would be a good place for him to start.
Rich – Season 3 starts later this year, I’ll keep you posted!
SC – Why wouldn’t Rich want his daughter to marry someone like me : successful career, good salary, won’t fight with her over who does the washing and cooking and has his own blog. What more could a father want in a son in law!
July 12th, 2009 at 12:51 am
This has been a thorny issue for my wife and I, but she’s from Chengdu, not Shanghai.
I go out of my way sometimes to make sure that I don’t have to carry anything other than my phone or wallet, but she’ll tug along all kinds of crap and then when she gets tired of carrying it she expects me to take over (despite my having warned her before hand that I don’t want to carry anything and that she should leave this stuff in the car).
She also used to get quite flustered with me when I’d refuse to carry her or her handbag when walking around the city. Yes, she’d actually expect me to throw her on my back and carry her around. Sorry, it’s not going to happen.
July 12th, 2009 at 1:20 am
GSWafford – Gosh that would drive me mad. That’s not what husbands / boyfriends are for. Or perhaps it is in China. Wait a minute, carry HER? I know Sichuan girls are fairly petite and your a towering lao wai, but still!
July 12th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Woai – you forgot to mention good looking, mate
Later this year, huh. Well it cant come soon enough.
SC – I think you’re being just a little presumptuous in telling me what I want for my daughter. Before you waste any more of your time making silly comments why dont you go look up the words ‘light hearted’ and ‘banter’. And till then, dont take everything you read so bloody seriously!
July 12th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
My theory is that you shouldn’t carry anything you can’t manage yourself (luggage included.)
July 12th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
Both of you don’t know what is being humble and modest in life!!!!
WoAi, If you think having successful career, good salary and your own blog…that’s what matters to you….It’s sad, man!!! Very sad!!! By the way, there are plenty of people who have successful career, good salary…you are not the only one in China. You haven’t seen some people who are humble and modest and at the same time having successful career, high salary etc. That’s what I respect in this kind of people.
P.S. I don’t know why British people love to use the word “Bloody”…..It sounds awful!!!!
July 12th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
I dont know why Chinese people think there’s only one way to live life and feel the need to validate their lifestyle by preaching to all who dont tow the party line
July 12th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
SC – the simple fact of the matter is that no one person in a relationship should have to shoulder all of the work too.