Feb 05
The Internet is a wonderful source of information and Wikipedia is one of my most used sites. How else for example, would I know that Will Smith was born in the same year as me, or that Martin Luther King Jr died a month before I was born and that he was younger than I am now when he died.
But it’s also useful for other things, like the page about Chinese table manners:
- Strong alcohol, called baijiu [pronounced "by joe"], is often served throughout the meal; and it is customary for the host[s]/hostess[es] to insist that guests drink to “show friendship.” If the guests prefers not to drink, they may say, “I’m unable to drink, but thank you.” [in Mandarin: "Wo bu neng he jiu, xie xie." {whoa boo nung huh joe}] The host may continue to insist that the guests drink, and the guests may likewise continue to insist upon being “unable” to drink. The host’s insistance is to show generosity. Therefore, refusal by the guests should be made with utmost politeness. Beware: If a guest drinks alcohol with a subordinate at the table, the guest will be expected [if not forced] to drink a glass of the same alcohol with each superior at that table, and possibly at other tables too—if the guest has not passed out yet.
- When the hostess says her food is not good enough, the guest must disagree and tell her it is one of the finest foods they have ever tasted.
- Belching, smacking, and sipping is allowed. Talking with a full mouth, eating with the elbows on the table and tasting from a table guest’s plate is also allowed.
- When eating food that contains bones, it is customary that the bones be spat out onto the table to the right of the dining plate in a neat pile. Spitting onto the floor is almost never acceptable.
- When people wish to clink drinks together in the form of a cheer, it is important to observe that younger members should clink the rim of their glass below the rim of an elder’s to show respect.
These are all very helpful, but I have a few of my own to add:
- It’s perfectly acceptable to rest your foot on the adjacent chair, or even on your own chair.
- When the bill comes, it’s polite to make at least a weak attempt at fighting to pay the bill, although you should allow the host to eventually win the battle and avoid losing face.
- Playing on your PSP / Nintendo DS, reading magazines or sending texts while ignoring your other dinner guests is perfectly acceptable.
- Screaming at the waitress to bring you more beer while she’s busy taking the order of the table next door is completely okay.
- Bringing your own food and drinks to consume in the restaurant is perfectly fine.
- Finishing every last bit of food is NOT fine as it indicates to your host that he was not generous and did not order sufficiently.
So there you go. You can learn a lot from Wikipedia, but you learn twice as much from WoAi’s blog! And if you attempt to say “whoa boo nung huh joe” I guarantee you nobody will have a clue what you’re talking about.
February 5th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
Very useful to have this advice now, especially with all the Chinese New Year dinners coming up. Can I ask if it’s also acceptable to sing, then shout at other diners, then vomit over the restaurant floor and be carried out by your friends if you over-indulge on baijiu? It’s a common etiquette problem I have, and it’s not covered in Debrett’s.
In addition, I recommend one more point:
- If you are dining with foreign guests, be sure to congratulate them on their competant usage of chopsticks, regardless of whether they appear to be long-term residents of the country.
February 5th, 2010 at 3:05 pm
CP – Thanks for the additional query. I’m happy to say that vomiting on the restaurant floor is not only acceptable, it’s almost rude not to as it indicates to your host that he has not provided ample alcohol for his guests in the same way in Japan it is impolite not to make a slurping sound when you eat noodles.
Foreigners are to be praised both for their use of chopsticks as well as the standard of their Chinese, especially if they manage tricky phrases like “xie xie” and “ni hao ma?”
February 5th, 2010 at 3:16 pm
According to my day:
•When the bill comes, it’s polite to make at least a weak attempt at fighting to pay the bill, although you should allow the host to eventually win the battle and avoid losing face.
Is the secret of being Chinese. Fight for the bill, but lose.
February 5th, 2010 at 7:06 pm
When arriving at the restaurant you must point to and request a table which seats at least twice the number of people in your party. You can then utilise the additional chairs to place the handbags and manbags which you will, by necessity, have brought out with you. Do not, however, assume it is cool to remove any items of outerwear including coats and hats while dining.
Before you have even sat down, inform the waiter that you are ready to order.
With the waiter waiting patiently, despite numerous other diners requiring his or her attention, proceed to engage in all manner of conversation with your guests other than the issue of what to eat or drink.
Only after 15 minutes has passed may you then peruse the menu. And order an amount of food sufficient for a party half the size of yours.
Having completed the above, continue the conversation with your guests. No need to acknowledge the waiter with even the slightest hint that you are done ordering. If you insist on acknowledging him the preferred phrase is “kwai dang!”
If you haven’t already done so then now is the ideal opportunity to place on the table any items of food which you may have found in your hand/man bag. This is also a good time to check your iphone. Make sure the ring volume is at the loudest setting. (The chef will deem it respectful to him if he can hear your phone each time it rings.)
February 6th, 2010 at 2:25 am
As I have many allergies, I can add another one:
If your guest mentions that he/she is allergic to some food, be sure to offer him this food while sharing your medical knowledge “You may be allergic to peanuts in your country, but chinese peanuts are different”.
February 6th, 2010 at 11:34 am
How can you live in such a place?
Chinese people have no class what so ever.
Chinese people are definitely an inferior class.
That’s why I avoid chinatowns like the plague.
Disgusting people.
February 6th, 2010 at 12:10 pm
I must agree with Jacsz. Right on the button.
Those people are utterly disgusting.
I loathe chinese people. They’re so gross.
February 6th, 2010 at 12:58 pm
jacsz/kj, you could at least TRY to sound like two different people….
February 6th, 2010 at 1:44 pm
kj – that’s not how to write a haiku. it’s 5-7-5
i agree with jacsz
chinese people have no class
racism is fun!
February 6th, 2010 at 4:30 pm
@Rich – Ah, still packing in the mainlanders at Charlie Chan’s I see, good work. Next time one of them says “kuai dian” tell him “ni kuai dian zou ba” (why don’t you hurry up and go).
Interesting you mention keeping outerwear on. I was at The Blue Frog last night. There was a table of about 8 people at the other end and for the 2 hours they were sat there, most of them were wearing their anoraks and overcoats the entire time. I have no possible explanation for it even after 10 years in China.
@Thomas – I agree, Chinese peanuts are different. I think you should give them a try, LOL! I think what they mean is Chinese peanuts are BETTER and won’t cause you any harm unlike those nasty western peanuts.
@Jacsz / KJ – Or at least change computers so your IPs aren’t identical! How is Toronto this time of year?
@T – Don’t encourage him!
February 6th, 2010 at 6:30 pm
Haha yes bruv, I should learn a bit of the old Mandarin, or margarine, as Tate used to call it. It’s gonna be busy over the new year period.
Jacsz/kj – you’re not hanging out at Pacific Mall again are you?
February 7th, 2010 at 8:07 am
don’t forget: talking on the phone allows you to ignore the waiter AND the other dinner guests at the same time!
February 7th, 2010 at 11:31 am
WoAI, don’t block me. That’s not cool.
February 7th, 2010 at 11:32 am
I’m back! Yes!
February 7th, 2010 at 12:21 pm
@KJ – Racism isn’t that cool either. No love for the haters!
February 7th, 2010 at 12:26 pm
CP – yes, I think I will start congratulating my Chinese colleagues on their fork skills too!
Rich – very funny and true. Also best to talk as loud as possible to nearly approach the yelling decible. And always disregard everyone else in the restaurant.
February 7th, 2010 at 12:48 pm
I hear you.
I apologize.That was stupid.
My only question is why you continue to live
in a place you seem to hate? Most of your entries are
negative views of China.
You’re just adding fuel to the fire out there. I’m sure you’ll disagree.
I’m gone.
Don’t worry, I won’t bother you anymore
February 7th, 2010 at 5:32 pm
kj – why would you want to read or post here anyways? It’s full of Chinese people. Including WoAi. I agree WoAi is loathesome, but it has nothing to do with his ethnicity.
February 7th, 2010 at 6:54 pm
T – you forgot to mention disgusting.
February 7th, 2010 at 6:59 pm
@T – seriously? Are you guys mostly Chinese? Well that’s it then I’m not hanging out on here any more!
February 7th, 2010 at 10:24 pm
@KJ – I’m impressed by your apology so I approved your comment and you ask a very valid question about my blog. I think wherever you live there are going to be things you find irritating, frustrating or perhaps amusing. I’m from England and trust me there are millions of things about English people that get on my nerves. But I would never say all English people or any kind of people are gross, inferior, disgusting.
When I talk about a specific incident that involves specific individuals, like a moronic taxi driver, that’s not racist. Racism is where you group an entire race of people and make general negative comments about them.
On top of that, MANY MANY posts here are in favour of China and Chinese people. Only a few posts ago I wrote about how the western media unfairly report about Avatar being banned in China which was nonsense.
February 7th, 2010 at 10:24 pm
@T – Thanks for sticking up for me buddy!
February 7th, 2010 at 11:05 pm
@Rich are you going to hang out at Charlie Chan’s in Cambridge, next to Oddbins then?
February 8th, 2010 at 3:55 am
@ T – yes. It’s my refuge. A place where I can guarantee there’ll be no more than around 200 or so Chinese people for me to enjoy each day. Bliss.
February 10th, 2010 at 4:09 am
I think I´m ready to go to China now.
Lately I have been reading a lot about chinese culture, sometimes i find their manners a little bit extreme and of course some of them will not be accepted in my country, but that´s what makes so interesting their culture and any other culture different to mine.
I can´t wait to be in Shanghai, I´m a very open minded girl and I´m sure that each day i will spend there will be super interesting
February 12th, 2010 at 1:09 pm
Not quite on topic, but this relates to food. I just went to Subway for a delicious lunch. Behind the counter were five members of staff.
But no bread.
February 12th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Funny just last night someone was complaining about going to Burger King and they’d run out of burgers. They did offer chicken burgers though and seemed surprised when my friend didn’t go for the idea!
February 17th, 2010 at 8:14 am
@ CP – it’s called a low carb diet. Quite the thing these days, so I hear.